Dozens of brass, iron and wooden plumb bobs hanging on strings at different heights.
Careers · Certified Collider Inspector

Walk into walls professionally.

We are hiring. Applicants must be thorough, patient, and able to walk into the same wall eleven times without taking it personally.
The role

A career with real structure

A Certified Collider Inspector attends worlds in person, tests every structure against the 140-point schedule, and records each finding in a form that will one day be quoted in an appeal decision. It is not glamorous. It is necessary.

An empty brown hardboard clipboard with a metal clip.
Your clipboard. Issued on day one. It will outlive several headsets.
8 h Walking into walls, per shift
1 Hard hat, issued
0 Doors left unopened
Requirements

What we look for

Can identify a floor

Including floors that are textures of floors, and textures that are, unexpectedly, floors.

Patient in loading screens

Some worlds take forty minutes to load. You will stand in the loading screen with your clipboard until they do, because leaving is how they win.

Can count to eighty

Accurately, in a club world, while forty people in the count are wearing the same avatar.

Immune to vibes

Builders will tell you their world has a vibe. You will write down that the stairs have no collider.

Does not dance

When the bass drops mid-inspection, the inspector continues to walk into the wall. Inspectors who dance are reclassified as occupants and counted.

Has a strong neck

For the hard hat, which is worn over the headset, for eight hours.

Certification

The four-part CCI examination

Part 1

Written

All 1,412 pages of the Code, closed book. Candidates may bring a pencil and one emotional support plumb bob.

Part 2

Practical

Find the single uncollided wall in a room of forty walls, by walking into each in turn. Fastest time on record: six hours. Most candidates find it first.

Part 3

Fire doors

The candidate is shown forty fire doors and asked which of them are fire doors. Thirty-nine are wedged open. The fortieth is a cupboard.

Part 4

The report

Parts 1 to 3, written up in a form fit to be quoted in an appeal decision. Candidates who use the word "vibe" are failed, and are not told why.

Apply

Apply to become an inspector

Applications are reviewed in the order received. Successful applicants will be told where the training world is. Unsuccessful applicants will be inspected.

0 Applications received